They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
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