I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
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