I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Randomize
