He disabled his match.com account in front of me
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Randomize
