Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
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