I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
PANTIES FOUND
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
