im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
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