its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
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