Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
Randomize
