The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
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