FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
Randomize
