halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
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