If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
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