her vagine was all disorganized.
So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
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