you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
That accounts for only three of the penises
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
Randomize
