wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
Randomize
