I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
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