Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
Sorry dude, one minute I was flirting with a bachelorette party from Dallas and the next I’m being tied to the bed by the bride
Trying to wrangle us an invite to the wedding
Randomize
