Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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