he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
Randomize
