sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
Your cock deserves a montage
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
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