ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Randomize
