He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
