I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
