what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
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