That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
Randomize
