Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
I need to wash the frat house off of me
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize