how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Randomize
