No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
Randomize
