you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
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