just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
Randomize
