If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
