I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
Randomize