Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
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