it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
Randomize
