What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
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