Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Randomize
