Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
Best part of being a cop: When I showed up at Thanksgiving with stitches in my head I could tell them I was "protecting and serving" not "drinking and falling down". Career validated.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
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