Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
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