hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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