How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
