i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
