You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
I just made out with a guy for $7.
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
Randomize
