Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize