dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
jump out the window naked night went bad
Randomize
