READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
Randomize
