i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
Randomize
