How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
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