Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
Randomize
