somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
There's always time for handjobs
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
Is that strawberry winking at me??
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Randomize
