hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
Randomize