You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
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