when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
