Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
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