Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
the room spins SO much faster in panama
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
