How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
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