I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
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