My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
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