I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
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