question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
