Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
Randomize
