he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
Randomize
