Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
Randomize
