I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
