I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Randomize
