honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
Randomize
