you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
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