guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
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