If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize